Ticket to Ride for New Transportation Secretary

The White House is searching frantically for a new Secretary of Transportation, but is having trouble finding someone as deep in the pockets of big airlines, railroad, and buslines as the former Secretary, Norman Mineta who left the office earlier this month.

The top prospect so far, suggested by the President himself, is Ms. Ada Quonsett, world famous airline stowaway and hobo. "This lady is a national treasure," the President confided this morning to the press corps. "I don't think there's another person with more knowledge of the inner workings of airlines, airports, and hobotowns than Miss Conquistador."

When asked about tighter security on airlines since 9/11, Ms. Quonsett responded, "I don't think it would be very good public relations for a big airline to prosecute a little old lady just because she wanted to visit her daughter!"