CNN Fails Miserably with Glenn Beck

After a hearty laugh tonight watching Stephen Colbert tumble, I jumped over to Headline news to see if anything interesting had been blown up somewhere around the world and accidentally caught ten seconds of Glenn Beck having an apopleptic tirade. Luckily, my thumb was near the OFF button and I cut the power to the TV before my IQ dropped below the point of being able to operate a remote.

It's as if genetic engineers combined the DNA of Howard Stern, Rush Limbaugh, Charles Grodin, and Lewis Black, then stripped all the meager talent, intelligence, and personal charisma from the unborn fetus, aborted it, and served it up on basic cable with a lousy makeup job. (The union foreman for local 367 of the Makeup Artists of America should pay a little visit backstage to Beck's show to make sure he didn't hire a one-armed chimp with Parkinson's disease to apply his pancake every night.)

The headline of this blog isn't very clever, but after my fleeting brush with brain sponge beck, it was all I could muster. These were the alternatives: