Monday, July 10, 2006

Estherdonna's Disposable Faith

Faith, like beauty, fades in the shallow, like so many blonde hairs that were once brown but are now gray beneath the artificial red.

The artist formerly known as Madonna has grown weary of her latest religion, the Jewish offshoot Kabbalah, according to the gossip rags. It seems her faith is taxing her husband's resolve, taxing her bank account, and making her children whine for Christmas presents (Mommydonna Dearest can't stand the constant high-pitched British-accented whining, and that's just from Guy Ritchie). Rumor has it that she might decide to even untie the red string she has tied around her wrist. If she does, what will she do when someone casts the Evil Eye her direction?

And what will her next religous incarnation be? Santeria? Mormonism? Jehovah's Witness? Scientology? The accountants for each of these cults are secretly lining up with outstreatched arms (more likely outstretched hands) to get a little Madonna marketing boost for their causes.


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