Sunday, June 18, 2006

Preppin' for the 'Nide

City fathers in New York are up in arms over reports that Al-Qaida terrorists are plotting to kill thousands of NYers by releasing cyanide gas in the subways.

People, puhlease. Tom Ridge already covered this scenario, among others, in his address to the nation that was later published in handbook form called, "The Common Man's Basic Preparation for All Things Terrorble."

Remember the "sheets of plastic and duct tape?" If you had paid attention and did what the Ridgester ordered, you'd have all the protection you need from a cyanide gas attack just sitting on a shelf in your basement.

After you pay your token but before you get on the train, just wrap your head in plastic and secure it in place with a swath of duct tape around your neck. No worries.

Oh, yeah, don't forget to take a deep breath before the plastic goes on.

Thanks for the helpful advice, Mr. Ridge.


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