Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Senate Panel Ass-sucked Into Endorsement

General Hayden's nomination as CIA director won the endorsement of the Senate Intelligence Committee on Tuesday in a 12-3 vote after an hour-long closed-door discussion, where insiders say the general showed the committee members how he got the nickname, "Booty."

The 15-member Senate Intelligence Committee, which Republicans control by a single vote, limped from the closed-door session, some of them rigorously rubbing their hindquarters. The panel chairman, Sen. Pat Roberts (R), was quoted as saying, "Damn, that boy could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch."

Interns reported later that day from the Senate gym's locker room that all of the intelligence committee members had sizable hickies on their sagging pasty white wrinkled tushes, though exactly when each received his hickie -- or by whom -- could not be confirmed.


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