Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Lordy, Lordy, Look Who's... Lordi?

Strap on the studded leather, boys, and bang your latex-masked head. Monster rock has invaded Europe.

First it was dried fish, now Finland temps our tastebuds with Lordi, a new "monster" heavy metal band. Their website looks like some teenage boy with no imagination crossed his D&D character sheets with his KISS Army soldier's handbook.

Though comparing the photos to the main page description of the band, there seems to have been some change in which monsters exactly make up Lordi (where's Enary and Kalma? Kalma was my favorite!). Let's see what the current line-up is...

Lead vocals brings us Lordi (or Mr. Lordi) who is some kind of Rob Zombie with horns. FYI his cape turns into bat wings. His fact sheet says he's "the on-treader, the unholy overlord of tremors" and that he's a "cyberundertaker, the hulk of hell."

On guitar there's Amen, the mummy. His fact sheet says he's an ancient assassin and the Ruler of the Anubis Dynasty. Oh, it also says, "so be it, it shall be done." I'm not sure what kind of fact that is, but suffice to say it has nothing to do with good grammar.

Hammering the drums is Kita, the extraterrestrial man-beast from an intergalactic alien race. Obviously an alien race that's unfamiliar with the concept of redundancy. Oh, and he's a soldier orc. Did I mention the Dungeons and Dragons connection?

No Finnish heavy metal monster rock band is complete without the ubiquitous female vocalist, most likely to add the screams and Wagnerian operatics, so next we have AWA. According to her fact sheet, she's a "possessed sorceress, she-devil, snake-eyed feminine spectre, the vampire countess, The Psyghost, also known as ghost witch, Miss Madness, and the queen of insanity." The madness here is that they couldn't make up their minds what to call her and decided to just cover all their bases. Don't forget, "Be Aware." Clever girl.

Finally, there's Ox, the undead minotaur bassist (see photo with fact file).

I bet a Lordi concert is a riot. Can't wait for them to play Red Rocks.


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