Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Limbaugh's Limp Lizard

Conservative radio's talking head doesn't have a problem in the bedroom, it's his pet iguana, Al, with the issues "down there."

Confusion over a bottle of prescription pills with his doctor's name on it that were caught and confiscated in airport security, has the media in a tizzy about Rush breakin' the rules again. But this time (like last time) the blusteringly lovable Limbaugh is totally innocent.

Here's the story: Last week he went to his vet concerned about his pet male iguana's lackluster attitude and disinterest in his female iguana, Hillary. "Al's not humping Hillary the way he used to," Rush explained. The vet examined the lizard and found that the animal's electrolytes were low, which could be easily treated. Iguana electrolytes, or eReptile hormone as they're commonly known, are managed with the same chemicals found in Viagra. Rush, consummate law-abiding citizen, explained that due to a recent court order and his public position as the virile voice of the right, it wouldn't look right if he was seen buying Viagra. The vet filled the prescription himself and gave Rush the bottle.

This has all been just a simple misunderstanding over Rush having a case of eReptile dysfunction.


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