Radioactive Monkeys from Dick Cheney's Butt

Benevolent, radioactive monkeys will fly from Dick Cheney's ass to replace all coal-burning powerplants, nuclear power plants, and diesel engines with clean, cold-fusion space monkey electricity throughout North America, totally freeing the US from dependency on foreign oil and carbon-based fuels.

Palestinians will give up any and all claims to past land ownership throughout Israel and its captured territories while Muslims across the globe will wholeheartedly approve of the Jewish state's plan to destroy the Dome of the Rock in order to build the third temple.

And John McCain's administration will be new, fresh, and different from George Bush's administration.