Tanzania Losing Coveted Albino Tourist Revenues

Tourists lacking skin pigmentation are avoiding the African country of Tanzania, primarily because witch doctors there are killing albinos to use their body parts for "prosperity spells". It's true. Instead, albinos are taking their much-coveted tourist money to neighboring Mozambique, where they are better appreciated and not murdered.

"My clients prefer to vacation places where they won't be dismemebered, " says albino travel agent, Whitey Sunfry, of Whitey's Tours and Shady Safaris. "Mozambique is perfect. Lots of shade trees, and only the virgins have to be afraid of witch doctors, 'cause they promote virgin rape to cure AIDS."

Other destinations Mr. Sunfry steers albino clients away from when scheduling travel:

• Death Valley - because there's no shade.
• The Antarctic - because in all that snow it's too hard to find the albinos who get separated from their tour group.
• Armenia - but only when Cher is visiting her castle there. She likes to bathe in their pale blood to retain her youth.