Scooter Libby's Prison Ink

Lewis "Scooter" Libby, former top aide to U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney, was sentenced today to two and a half years in prison for lying and obstructing investigators trying to determine who leaked the identity of CIA analyst Valerie Plame in 2003.

On top of his $5 million lawyer bill, the judge spanked him with a $250 thousand fine. But those aren't the worst of his woes. Assuming his appeal is refused, Scooter has to go through the arduous process of deciding what his prison tattoo will say. And as anyone who has seen him in the showers at the congressional gym will attest, the tat's message is most likely going fall into the "submissive play toy" category rather than the "fuck with me and I'll rupture your spleen" variety.

His wife and family have suggested:

• Be Gentle, I'm Delicate
• I Have Powerful Friends. Really, I do.
• Please Wear a Condom.
• Republican Ass: What You're Doing is a Sin Against Nature and My God

But I'm suggesting this: