How Teddy met Mikey

The details of how Brother Ted found Mike Jones, the gay Denver male prostitute, are up for debate. But T/P pulled the following telling personal ads from its extensive collection of independent hook-up newspapers and back issues of Buried Treasure magazine:

---

Chemicalbrother69 - MWM seeks discrete weekend warrior. No politics, please, just fun fun fun. Must have own meth lab.

---

ColoradoCoreSample - Bored with wife. Looking for tight and tidy 40-something in the mile-high city. Must like watching Tom Cruise movies and praying for our souls after naughty wrestling.

---

MassageMePlease - Tall, handsome, politically influencial evangelical pastor seeks male prostitute for sex, drugs, and eventual self destruction. Turn-offs: handlebar moustaches, bad breath, and legalized abortion. Turn-ons: midnight strolls, bondage, exposing wife to STDs.

---

PhilHarmOnIt50 - brASS section antique dealer will pay top dollar for rusty trombone, any woods, or percussion instruments. Upright or baby grand preferred, but not necessary. No violins. No amateurs.