Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Aim For The Dalmation

Secretary of Defense, Donald "Pass the Red Hot Poker" Rumsfeld, is determined to prove to the world that America's armed forces are ideal for peacekeeping, despite failing miserably so far in the argument. I wonder what advice he would give to soldiers heading over to the Hot Zone for the first time? Hmmm...

Donald's Five Rules for Being Good Peacekeepers
  1. Shoot first, answer inquiries later (if you're caught).
  2. Blame neighboring countries for insurgent uprisings caused by your own shortsightedness.
  3. Prop up warlords, crime bosses, and international fugitives as local government leaders.
  4. Take as long as possible to get GDPs and other resources (like oil fields) up, running, and making money.
  5. "Accidentally" kill civilians who are vital to societal infrastructure (like fire fighters).

3 Comments:

Blogger Jan Owen said...

You forgot #6. Pay the media to report civilian casualties were "minimal."

3:47 PM  
Blogger Phelps said...

Oh, the list could go on and on and on. I decided to stop at 5 for brevity. ;-)

11:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You have awakened me - await retribution and rampage. AoD

2:30 PM  

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