Killbot Details Not Funny Enough for Leno, Letterman

What, no Jay Leno monologues, no Dave Letterman Top Ten lists, no Craig Kilborne -- whatever Craig Kilborne does? Surely their writers can make as much of a joke about this as they did about a forty-something pop star pedophile. They skewer the rest of the headlines, why not this one? Here, we can help:

Possible Jay monologue joke:
Ya gotta support the troops. Ya gotta support the troops. Those kids can really get stressed when they're manning those checkpoints, believe me, I know. After ten minutes of waiting for my morning coffee, (pause) I'm ready to rape and kill a fourteen year-old.

Late Night zinger:
And the number one thing to do on a hot night in Iraq if you're bored to death...

Something Craig Kilborne's speed:
Craig: Knock, knock.
Audience: WHO'S THERE?
Craig: The US Marines. We're here to rape and kill your daughter.
Applause Sign: LAUGH and CHEER