Sunday, August 06, 2006

Mel Gibson Changes Name to Melvin Goldsteinfarbman, Begs for Crucifixion

In case you weren’t sure if Mel Gibson really was sorry for his anti-Semitic remarks (of course he's not) after two press releases and umptiseventy public apologies, Mel has decided to convert to Judaism, change his name to Melvin Goldsteinfarbman and beg Pontius Pilate to execute him by crucifixion. Can he have his Holocaust minseries back? Will you go see his new end of time Mayan-language musical, Apocalypso now? What if he says "please?"

Come on, Mel, how much money do you need? Retire, go back to the little island you bought last year and dream up all the fantastic conspiracy theories you want. Join the angry bearded minority. Just keep them to yourself next time.

2 Comments:

Blogger Phelps said...

Maybe he should get Phil Specter to be his designated driver for those late night jaunts around Hollywood? You know, they could solve crimes in Specter's batmobile, curse the jews who are out late, and maybe pop a cap in the occasional washed-up B-list starlettes.

3:59 PM  
Blogger Matt said...

And they could do it all set to a Phil Spector soundtrack washed in a wall of thick chorusy strings. That would be a good David Lynch movie.

1:12 PM  

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