Monday, November 29, 2004

Thom's Map of North America

Ever since our invasion of Iraq, I've been formulating a map in my head of what a "new America" should look like, since the USA has obviously become too big for the greater good of the world.

It wouldn't be based on the results of the Presidential election, but instead on geography, economy, population centers, and my own impression of the various peoples of North America.

The entire area including the USA, Canada, and Mexico would be a collection of countries called the North American Union (NAU). And I think it would be better if we followed more of an EU model, where we use a single currency, but have controlled borders, different languages, cultures, and ideologies.



Canada remains Canada, except they get Alaska and Maine.
Picture Texas (excluding the Panhandle), Louisiana, and New Mexico as its own country, called Texas.
Everything east of Ohio and West Virginia and north of South Carolina, is Yorkonia.
Arkansas and everything east of the Mississippi River but south of North Carolina, is Florgia.
The mid-west states including Kentucky to the South, Ohio and West Virginia to the East, and Minnesota and Nebraska to the West, will be called Michasota.
North and South Dakota will be returned to the indigenous peoples of central North America, to be called whatever they want and exist as an "Indian nation." Until the Native Americans democratically select a new name for the region, they'll be called The Dakotas.
Nevada and Northern California would be a new country called Sonoma.
Southern California and Arizona would join to become Calizona.
Hawaii reverts to its original island kingdom, and Japanese will become the predominant language.
Washitana would include the rest of Wyoming, Montana, Washington, Idaho, and Oregon.
All of Colorado, east from Grand Junction will be its own country, called Ski Colorado (we would keep all of the best ski resorts, except Jackson Hole, Washitana).
This would leave two separate areas as relative no-man lands, namely Utah, which would become Mormonia, and Oklahoma, Kansas, and the Texas Panhandle, which would be combined into The Dust Bowl and used as an all-purpose landfill and nuclear waste dump for the rest of the NAU.
Grand Junction, Colorado and the rest of the "ugly" Western Slope will become the Gateway to Mormonia.

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