The RNC Warns: Kerry Will Raise Taxes on Dead People

Posted on the Republican National Committee’s website:

“Warning to Dead People in Florida: John Kerry wants to raise your taxes. We appreciate that you’ve taken the time to register as a Republican from the great beyond, but it may not be enough. Dead people alone cannot win Florida for George Bush. You may need to vote twice. Or three times. And you may need to stop as many blacks and Latinos and women from voting as you can. Don’t think you’re safe from Kerry’s liberal tax policies just because you’re dead. You may ask, “doesn’t Kerry only want to repeal risky tax breaks on the wealthiest one-percent of Americans, and is that even close to the same thing as actually raising new taxes, especially on dead people?” Don’t be fooled. Al Qaeda wants Kerry to raise taxes on you in the after life. Think about this – while the Al Qaeda dead are enjoying the seventh level of Heaven surrounded by 99 beautiful virgins who feed them grapes and rub their feet, you’ll be shouldering the ridiculous burdens of education, health care and social security.”