President Claims: Even Retards Can Fight

(AP) President Bush honored Olympic and Paralympic athletes Monday (Oct. 18) for bringing home nearly 200 medals, telling the athletes they had served as exemplary ambassadors of the United States.

"Y'all are fit as fiddles," GW quipped. "Every one of you is a superb athlete, and in Athens you served as exemplary ambassadors of the United States."
He went on, "so who wants to suit up in some camos, sling a rifle over your shoulder and die for me in Iraq?"

The athletes were silent.

"Come on," GW said, "I'm certain some of you are patriotic. How about you paralympics? Even retards can sling hash for Halliburton in the mess halls."
When his press secretary corrected him about the difference between the Paralympics and the Special Olympics, the President chuckled at his gaffe. "Some people will criticize me for calling you all retards, despite knowing exactly what I had meant to say. And that is, in Texas we see you all as equals. Whether you're retarded or paraplegic, we'll execute you just as fast as if you were black."