Thursday, August 26, 2004

White House Announces Plan to Outsource Dishonesty to India

The White House has announced plans to ship the creation of new falsehoods overseas. According to Vice President and genetically-altered super-troll Dick Cheney, the media’s demand for new lies has outgrown the administration's supply capabilities. “We’re just running out of believable deceits,” Cheney quipped, “and it’s time to give some new talent a try.”

The White House has tapped the “Indians for Truth in American Democracy” group, who had formerly made millions of dollars conducting click-fraud for a variety of state-side web publishers. An Indian company official -- who insisted on being identified only as a Vietnam swift boat veteran -- indicated that they had already selected a new company logo for the project. “It’s based on Hecate, a three-faced deity of Asia Minor. These days, being two-faced is not enough.”

The White House intends to carry on their own home-grown smear campaigns as well. “Read my chin,” Cheney said. “We intend to continue in our grand tradition of duplicity. We’re just not very good at it. No one is buying the whole WMDs in Iraq thing and this whole issue of Kerry’s medals was just idiotic. Who’s idea was it to keep comparing John Kerry’s military service to the President’s record or mine for that matter. Whoopsie-daisie.”


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