110-Year-Old Portrait of Dick Cheney Stolen

Two masked theives boosted Edvard Munch's "The Scream" today. The painting is famously rumored to be a portrait of Dick Cheney in 1893 who was then a 45 year old nobody hiding out in Oslo and looking to score some absinthe.

Are there any good leads to the theft?

"...there's no secret Dr. No or Mr. Big or anybody like that out in the Venezuelan jungle, or Captain Nemo aboard the Nautilus," said Charles Hill, a former British Scotland Yard detective who helped recover "The Scream" in 1994.

Hmmm... Brilliant insight, and yet we still can't rule out Goldfinger or Professor Moriarty. Damn you evil geniuses, always a step ahead.