Friday, September 23, 2005

Bush off Wagon: Who Cares?

The National Enquirer, America's true bastion of fair and balanced reporting, disclosed that President Bush is drinking again.

T/P asks, "Who cares?"

Alerted early this morning to the breaking news by insomniac-editorial staff member, Mitch, Phelps poured himself a cup of coffee, scratched his unshaven chin and murmured, "huh? What time is it?"

Then, looking for a printable quote, Mitch shared the news with Turner at 4:00 AM.
The result:

Bush Off Wagon: Turner/Phelps Editorial Staff Member in Coma for Breaking Cardinal Rule #1

Wouldn't it be better if Bush were drinking? Kudos to Dubya! He deserves a drink. After all, it only makes him look even more like the common man. And I for one respect him for it. Hopefully his newfound strength to face adversity with a little liquid courage will be reflected in his opinion polls, whether he cares about them or not.

Hell, if I had sent over one thousand loyal American soldiers to their graves, been responsible for the unnecessary deaths of thousands of civilians in Iraq, totally trashed hundreds of billions of dollars worth of budget surplus at the behest of a few maniacal neo-con buddies, and practically sold America to the Chinese, I'd be hitting the hooch, too.


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