Monday, August 08, 2005

Robert Novak's Walkout Nothing New

Last week on Crossfire, Robert Novak threw a hissy fit, said it was "bullshit," and walked off the show. According to his second-cousin Rebbecca Feindleberg, that's nothing new for "Bobby My-Ball." During an interview with the 78 year-old Feindleberg, she listed his long history of melodramatically walking away during temper tantrums, of which, these are the highlights:

1941 - Joliet, Illinois - 10 year-old Bobby Novak didn't get picked to play on the same kickball team as his friend Artie, so he screamed, "this game is bull poop!" and walked off the field, taking with him the ball that the other kids wanted to use. He returned the ball later that evening when the other boys had to go home for dinner. That's where he first started getting the nickname, "The Prince of Darkness," which followed him to Washington, D.C.

1949 - University of Illinois - Thinking girls weren't going out with him because he was Jewish (instead of the fact that he was an ugly little troll shooting for a Backelor of Arts degree), Robert went to his synagogue, told his rabbi "this religion is bullshit!" and stomped out of the temple. The following week he became a Roman Catholic and still couldn't get a date to save his life.

1954 - Korean War - While he was serving in the army he was promoted one day from chief warrant officer to lieutenant. Disappointed that he wasn't elevated to the rank of captain, Lt. Novak approached his commanding officer, said, "this war is bullshit!" and marched off, later quitting the service.

1971 - Johnson City, Tx - While visiting his good friend President Johnson at the ranch, several members of the press chided Novak for not being strong enough to lift Johnson's beagel by the ears. Emotionally and physically worn out from the effort (the dog did weigh thirty pounds, after all), Novak shouted "this press corps is bullshit!" kicked the dog, and caught the next plane back to Chicago.


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