U.S. to Scale Back Tsunami Relief Efforts (of course)

BANDA ACEH, Indonesia (AP) - The U.S. military - the largest group aiding tsunami survivors - said Thursday it will immediately begin scaling back its relief operations.

"We've got an inauguration to fund," an anonymous Whitehouse spokesperson said while putting the final touches on a 3-thousand dollar table centerpiece for the BBQ lunch. "Do you think all of these cowboy boot-shaped chocolates and yellow rose confections grow on trees?"