IM About My Meanness

M: Let me ask you something... You've read the blog, do you think I'm too mean?
SD: Like what do you mean, mean?
M: Some people have said my posts are mean. That I have "issues"
SD: Dude, I've known you for so long, I'm not objective.
M: Ha! You think I'm mean, too, don't you? Ouch.
SD: I just hear your voice when I read it, so I know when you're being sarcastic or not. Other people don't. Mostly, I think you're earnest and heartfelt.
M: A-ha! You think I have issues, too.
SD: Sha, brohim. We all have issues. You just put yours on a web site.
M: Some might call that courageous.
SD: Some might call it obsessive compulsive. Or even mean.
M: Or that I have "issues."
SD: Your words.
M: Not my words, the words of like, a very high percentage of our readers.
SD: What's that, like 10 people?
M: Seven.
SD: There's nothing wrong with having issues with idiots who are screwing the country. I don't think you've written anything meaner than you'd find on the Daily Show.
M: Jon Stewart, my hero.
SD: He has more talent in his top left eyelid than you and Thom have put together.
M: That's reassuring in a strange way.
SD: I think you guys are funny, but there's a quality to the political stuff that takes the edge off the humor.
M: I read this interview with Al Franken about, I'm paraphrasing here, how the world is going to hell and it's our responsibility to stand up to conservative windbags and blah blah blah.
SD: Al Franken has no friends.
M: Jeanine Garafalo. Although come to think of it, I've never seen them in the same place at the same time.
YP Exactly. I wouldn't worry about being mean as much as being funny. Don't try to save the world, it's a total wreck at this point, just be funny. Didn't you guys get toasted by some dude for calling one of your screenplays "Spaz?"
M: A reader wrote some coverage about how we were mean to spastic people, which is a serious condition, but that's not what we were trying to do. The title character's name was Marvin Spacinsky and Spaz was his nickname, and you know, when you call someone Spaz it's like calling someone a mofo, you don't mean it literally (at least I hope you don't). La.
SD: I mean it literally, you stupid mofo.
M: Shut up, spaz.
SD: This is just like that.
M: This is just like that? What is that, a quote from Jean Paul Sarte? A Warren Zevon song?
SD: You guys are funny, sometimes you're mean, just focus your chi on being funny and don't worry about being mean if it works. Spaz won some sort of crappy award didn't it?
M: Hey, hey... It won TWO crappy awards. But thanks for the plug.
SD: You're going to post this on the blog, aren't you?
M: I'll change your handle so you won't be stalked.
SD: I was really worried about that.
M: And I'll fix your spelling and grammar, you cretin.
SD: You're mean.