Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Who Said It? McCain, Putin or a Crazy Homeless Guy?

Working downtown gives me plenty of access to crazy homeless people who say a variety of witty things to me as I pass them on the street. That gave me a great idea for a new game – so gather your friends, come one, come all. Turner Phelps presents: Who Said It? McCain, Putin or a Crazy Homeless Guy? You may have seen the game in the "Seen on TV" stores under the name, Who is More Insane: McCain, Putin or a Crazy Homeless Guy?

Quiz: your job is to determine who said each of the following quotes, John McCain, former KGB spy Vladmir Putin or a Crazy Homeless Guy.

1. "We have a lot of work to do. It's a very hard struggle, particularly given the situation on the Iraq-Pakistan border." --referring to a border that doesn't exist.

2. "Holy S**t she's a real bitch." – referring to Hillary Clinton.

3. "I was concerned about a couple of steps that the Russian government took in the last several days. One was reducing the energy supplies to Czechoslovakia." --referring to, um, Czechoslovakia, which is, um, no longer a country.

4. ''Terrorism has once again shown it is prepared deliberately to stop at nothing in creating human victims. An end must be put to this. As never before, it is vital to unite forces of the entire world community against terror. ''

5. "F**k you! I know more about this than anyone else in the room."

6. "Make it a hundred...That would be fine with me." –answering the question of if he agreed with Bush's plan to keep U.S. troops in Iraq for 50 years.

7. "You can suck on this, Mr. Starbucks."

8. "I can only feel joy the American people made the most sensible decision." – Referring to Bush's 2004 reelection

9. "I am an illiterate that has to rely on my wife for all of the assistance I can get."

10. "You're a f***ing queer in those shiny shoes, pretty boy."

11. "The issue of economics is not something I've understood as well as I should."

12. "No references to the need to fight terror can be an argument for restricting human rights."

13. "No, I'm calling you a f*cking jerk."

14. "Only an a**hole would put together a budget like this ... I wouldn't call you an a**hole unless you really were an a**hole."

15. "At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you c*nt."


1. McCain

2. Crazy Homeless Guy

3. McCain

4. Putin

5. McCain to Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX) during an argument on immigration legislation

6. McCain

7. Crazy Homeless Guy

8. Putin

9. McCain after being asked whether us uses a Mac or a PC

10. Crazy Homeless Guy

11. McCain

12. Putin

13. McCain to Republican Sen. Chuck Grassley, after Grassley asked "Are you calling me stupid?"

14. McCain to Budget Committee Chairman and fellow Republican Sen. Pete Domenici, during a budget hearing

15. McCain to his wife, Cindy, after she patted his head and said "You're getting a little thin up there," according to the book The Real McCain, by Cliff Schecter.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG he's unstable

9:19 AM  
Blogger Phelps said...

I'd last about ten seconds if I ever called my wife the c-word.

And they would never find my body.

2:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's why u could never b a repub presidential candidate, Phelps, u don't hate women

9:29 PM  
Blogger Phelps said...

I guess McSame didn't get smacked enough as a child by his pappy when he disrespected his momma.

Probably because Pappy was too busy running the Pacific Fleet while Momma was performing her officer's wife duties* at home, leaving young Johnny as the "man of the house." He spent his youth getting beat up by the native neighbor kids and having to learn how to treat a lady by emulating the crude local Honolulu fishermen and retired NCO drunks hanging out by the docks.

*Offcier's wife duties include: lording your husband's postion over other officers' wives whose husbands are lower rank; sucking up to officers' wives whose husbands are higher rank than your husband; sending your son out to play with the native children while you "entertain" the sailors the base sends to your house to "take care of anything the admiral's wife needs."

9:08 AM  

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