Bush to write memoir, Crayola value skyrockets

Wallstreet's reaction to the latest news from Europe that President Bush plans to write his memoir was an emphatic "BUY" for Crayola Crayons. "This is going to be a huge coup for the crayon industry," one stockbroker said. "With drafts, revisions, redactions and endless doodles of tanks and helicopters blowing people up, he's bound to go through truckloads of the main forty-eight colors."

Unfortunately, Crayola is a wholly owned subsidiary of Hallmark, which is a privately held company. Several old school brokers who haven't migrated to the new electronic model of trading, didn't know this and ran around the trade floor screaming, "Crayola, Buy! Crayola, Buy!" Other traders looked on in amusement and disgust.