Monday, October 29, 2007

Devil Resigns from Bush Administration

This weekend, as I drafted the agenda and rhetoric for the upcoming campaign of utter destruction against the country formerly known as Persia, I had the epiphanic realization that I can no longer in good conscience be a part of this diabolical plan. I realized that the death machine of hubris and hegemony must be dismantled. To that end, I understood that I must remove myself and my support from this stupefying symphony of lies and obfuscation.

With the clarity of humility, for the realization of a long history of wrongdoing, and from the guilt for my own actions against the great and honor-driven country of the United States and the people of the world, I humbly resign my position in this adminsitration, effective immediately. I intend to dedicate the remainder of my life to charitable causes, serving the poor and disenfranchised, and feeding the hungry.

It is with heartfelt remorse for my past actions that I make this announcement. And before the people of America, God, and all the fallen innocents, I throw myself at the mercy of this generation and those to follow.

May God have mercy on my soul.

Devil Resigns from Bush Administration

3 Comments:

Anonymous Joe Torres said...

Ha! Good one Phelps.

10:30 PM  
Anonymous Turner said...

that's extremely funny. I would love to see the Devil doing the forbidden dance with the God of Thunder... hint, hint...

9:10 PM  
Blogger Phelps said...

It should be homoerotically ambiguous, like "The Wrestlers" at the Ufizzi. Where you're asking yourself, "is the God of Thunder subduing the Devil, or just giving him a rusty trombone?"

10:32 AM  

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