Monday, October 29, 2007

Devil Resigns from Bush Administration

This weekend, as I drafted the agenda and rhetoric for the upcoming campaign of utter destruction against the country formerly known as Persia, I had the epiphanic realization that I can no longer in good conscience be a part of this diabolical plan. I realized that the death machine of hubris and hegemony must be dismantled. To that end, I understood that I must remove myself and my support from this stupefying symphony of lies and obfuscation.

With the clarity of humility, for the realization of a long history of wrongdoing, and from the guilt for my own actions against the great and honor-driven country of the United States and the people of the world, I humbly resign my position in this adminsitration, effective immediately. I intend to dedicate the remainder of my life to charitable causes, serving the poor and disenfranchised, and feeding the hungry.

It is with heartfelt remorse for my past actions that I make this announcement. And before the people of America, God, and all the fallen innocents, I throw myself at the mercy of this generation and those to follow.

May God have mercy on my soul.

Devil Resigns from Bush Administration


Anonymous Joe Torres said...

Ha! Good one Phelps.

10:30 PM  
Anonymous Turner said...

that's extremely funny. I would love to see the Devil doing the forbidden dance with the God of Thunder... hint, hint...

9:10 PM  
Blogger Phelps said...

It should be homoerotically ambiguous, like "The Wrestlers" at the Ufizzi. Where you're asking yourself, "is the God of Thunder subduing the Devil, or just giving him a rusty trombone?"

10:32 AM  

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