Riu-Giu Hires, Defends Young Genital Enthusiast

TP’s favorite cross-dressing swinger who also wants to nuke Iran, Rudy Giuliani, hired a priest in his organization in 2002, two months after the priest was accused of molesting an altar boy and relieved of his duties by the Catholic Church. I’m all for the presumption of innocence, but let’s face it, the Catholic Church doesn’t exactly take swift action in molestation cases. And, oh yeah, a grand jury has linked Placa to numerous instances of sexual abuse. According to ABC News, protesters are already lining up at Riu-Giu rallies.

The priest, Monsignor Alan Placa, also presided over one of Riu-Giu’s many weddings, this time to Donna Hanover.

Riu-Giu has this to say about his strange bedfellow, somehow defending him while comparing him to the worst people in our society:

"I know the man; I know who he is, so I support him," Giuliani said. "We give some of the worst people in our society the presumption of innocence and benefit of the doubt," he said. "And, of course, I'm going to give that to one of my closest friends."

That’s setting the bar pretty low. Surprisingly, Placa’s alleged victim feels differently:

"This man did unjust things, and he's being protected and employed and taken care of. It's not a good thing," said one of the accusers, Richard Tollner, who says Placa molested him repeatedly when he was a student at a Long Island, N.Y. Catholic boys high school in 1975.

But isn’t Riu-Giu just keeping an open mind about a friend? You know, like Republicans often do, with say, Al Gonzales? It’s a long shot. A grand jury is already investigating the case of a “Priest F,” that several sources say is Placa.

The grand jury report concluded that a Priest F, who Tollner says is Placa, abused the boys sexually "again and again and again."

"Priest F was cautious, but relentless in his pursuit of victims. He fondled boys over their clothes, usually in his office," the report said. Unfortunately, Placa cannot be prosecuted because the statute of limitations had expired.

So, I would like to offer a plea to Republicans – although my prior pleas for peace, justice and respect for the Constitution were completely ignored.

Republicans: please, just keep your hands to yourself. I don’t care that most of you are gay. I’ll even come to your gay wedding and bring a lovely “His and His,” red elephant bath towel set. I just don’t want you peeping in my bathroom stalls, sending teenage pages lusty emails, visiting the same gay prostitutes you publicly persecute and above all, do not rub my genitals. Thank you.