Wednesday, April 04, 2007

A Big Mean Redneck Waiting in the Wings

Get ready, Dems, Fred Thompson is on his way.

He's a shrewd, strong, silent type. He's John Wayne with a law degree. America can't wait for him to throw his hat into the ring. And he's the only real threat the Democrats face in the coming presidential races. He's waiting in the wings, letting the lesser Republicans get beaten into submission by the pundits before he strides in to save the day.

That said, let's be honest. American's prefer a strong, authoritative father figure over a nagging mom with big calves. Even if you hate your drill sargent dad, when the ruthless gang of bikers have your little sister and mom tied up in the master bedroom while they make you bark like a dog in the living room, you pray your dad will get home in time to go Stacey Keach in 9th Configuration on their asses.

But don't forget, Fred is also a big mean redneck and a lawyer. If you want a laugh and an insight into all things Fred Thompson, check out John Saleeby's take on him as an interesting motherfucker. I couldn't have written it better.

Exit stage left.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you were some sorta modern day Alladin and you find a lamp only it wasn't a lamp it was a giant bottle of Old Spice, no wait, Hi Karate, and you rubbed it until it started smoking, so much so that the Hi Karate, no wait, Clubman's Bay Rum, got all over your hands and not even a skin transplant could get the stink off you, I bet the Genie that comes out of Bay Rum, no wait, Aqua Velva, would look a lot like a gaseously uncorporeal Fredneck Thompson.

3:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keeping up with the Edwardses and the Snows, now Fred has thrown his hat into the public sympathy ring by announcing, "I've got cancer, too."

10:50 AM  

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