Sunday, April 01, 2007

50 Reason Republicans Cannot Win in 2008

1. Dick Cheney probably committed treason by outing Valerie Plame.

2. Giuliani’s wacko ideas on the economy scare even somewhat conservative Republicans.

3. George Bush has split the party into pieces with the Libertarians ashamed of the Fundamentalist Christians and vice versa.

4. Newt Gingrich was cheating on his wife while he was trying to impeach Bill Clinton.

5. Mitt Romney is a Morman and conservative Christians are afraid of Mormans.

6. Barack Obama rocks.

7. The Edwards family is the best display of family values we’ve seen from either party in two decades.

8. Iraq.

9. Iran.

10. North Korea.

11. Thanks to the above three, the Democrats are now seen as the foreign policy thought leaders.

12. America prefers science, education and government separated from sectarian religious views.

13. The middle class is tired of paying all the taxes while the wealthy pay none.

14. After stealing billions from us, Haliburton is moving to Dubai (what a slap in the face to our troops).

15. Most people really don’t care about their second amendment rights, even though they probably should.

16. People like the right to live their lives.

17. A recent Pew Research Center poll found that 50% of the country identifies themselves as Democrat while only 35% identify themselves as Republican.

18. Republicans were too weak to challenge an inarticulate monkey on his plans for the Iraq war.

19. Congress will pass an exit resolution for Iraq and Bush will veto it.

20. Global warming is real and won’t be solved by a Biblical apocalypse.

21. McCain’s temper makes him way to scary as Commander in Chief.

22. Republican views used to be described as conservative; now they can only be described as irrational.

23. The US Attorney scandal.

24. Torture is completely un-American by any standard or political viewpoint.

25. Americans are tired of being ignored by arrogant politicians.

26. It takes two jobs to support an average family these days thanks to no economic or domestic oversight by Republicans in six years.

27. Republicans have proven over and over again since Watergate (or since Iran Contra, or the ridiculous waste of tax-payer’s money in the White Water investigation that turned up nothing, or with anything related to Iraq, Haliburton or Karl Rove) that they have no problem lying to the American people for their own political and economic gain.

28. The Republican party has become a symbol of authoritarian excess and unethical thinking.

29. Americans deserve real ideas, not just fear and uncertainty.

30. America is a more dangerous place to live thanks to Republican policies.

31. The Bush Doctrine of preemptive war is unethical, dangerous and illegal in international law.

32. That “liberal, big government Democrat” Clinton balanced the budget by spending 50% less than we do today.

33. People are smart enough to know that the judicial activists are the extreme right-wing fundamentalists Bush has packed the courts with.

34. People want their government to stay out of their hospital rooms when their family members are dying. There are more important issues than Terry Schiavo.

35. There are more important issues than two people of the same sex who want to stay monogamous for the next 40 years.

36. Bill Frist is a shameless liar.

37. Tom Delay is a shameless liar.

38. Bush has the lowest approval rating in history.

39. Bush declared “Mission Accomplished” four years ago – what does that say about their judgment?

40. 43% of Americans cannot afford health care or insurance.

41. Americans don’t want any more young Americans to die. More Americans have died in Iraq than in 9/11.

42. New Orleans is still a disaster.

43. Gas prices are sky-high and nothing is being invested in alternatives.

44. Electronic voting machines were rigged to get Bush elected – twice.

45. Even most pro-lifers (or as I like to say, pro-back-alley-abortion-ers) think that stem cell research is important to sustaining and improving life.

46. Privatizing Social Security shows either a fundamental disregard or ignorance of American history.

47. The Bush administration manipulated and censored science for political gain as documented in an open letter from 60 scientists, 20 of whom are Nobel Laureates.

48. You are being spied on for political reasons, not for protection against terror.

49. The Republicans have demonstrated the nastiest version of partisan politics in the last 50 years, and thus have shown disrespect to the views of most Americans.

50. America wants to return to their core values that will bring pride, prosperity, respect from other countries and principled leadership.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

45 (expanded) - and now UK scientists have used stem cells to grow a human heart valve. And yet George Bush still thinks we should avoid this new scientific realm to protect blastocycts (10-100 cells, before implantation).
Heart valve story:

7:30 AM  
Anonymous Newt said...

Bravo. This list is completely unimpeachable and I agree with I wholeheartedly. I notice that no neo-cons are posting rebuttals because they cannot argue with the failure of their policies over the last 6 years.

11:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The only point of disagreement I have with this list is on McCain who has shown he is a moderate who can work a bipartisan agenda. I think Phelps should make another run in 2008.

12:05 PM  
Blogger Phelps said...

I'm seriously thinking about it. My platform: "elect the guy who raises the LEAST amount of money. Shucks, that'd be me." (See, I can play to the Midwest.) Now, what to do about those skeletons in my closet? Hmmm... I guess I could come clean up front and list the nasty details:
1. Uneducated. (i.e. graduate of the school of hard knocks.)
2. An Atheist son of an ex-Mormon. (Say that one three times fast.)
3. Yes, there are photos of me dressed as Hitler being humped by an SS officer. (Or maybe I was the one dressed as the SS officer?)
4. I think we should "level the playing field" by allowing any country to develop nuclear weapons (and deal with the economic headache of managing them without killing themselves).
5. Know McCain's secret for looking a meer 72, when in reality he's 106. (The trick is drinking Jerry Falwell's urine.)

8:51 PM  
Blogger Turner said...

Hard to believe it's been seven years since the first Phelps-Gilbert campaign. I've still got buttons and a t-shirt around somewhere.

10:13 AM  
Blogger Phelps said...

I still have the web site stored off on a CD-ROM somewhere, I think.

Maybe I'll resurrect it.

After all, this is the season for historical resurrections.

12:04 PM  
Blogger Turner said...

Here's a seasonal trivia question for you: Who is the most recent political figure to publically announce that he'd risen again? Bob Dole.

9:23 AM  

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