The Vaderness of Dick Cheney

Bush admin detractors often liken Dick Cheney to that iconic Sith lord, Darth Vader, by calling him Darth Cheney. I take offense to that characterization.

True, like Vader, Cheney is a heavy breather and has artificial parts keeping his leathery heart beating. His mail always gets forwarded to his permanent address on The Dark Side. Rumors abound of him taking great pleasure in slaughtering every defenseless child in the Jedi temple.

But in the end, despite all his evildoings and planet smashing, Darth Vader turned on his dark master and cast him into a power reactor, sacrificing himself to save his son, Luke. He redeemed himself and got to come back as a smiling, luminescent phantom alongside Obi Wan Kenobi and Yoda.

Cheney on the other hand will never redeem himself. His rottenness goes all the way through. Let's stop calling him Darth Cheney and find a nickname that better suits him.