Monday, March 05, 2007

Paul Harvey Comes Clean

After much prodding, probing, cajoling, and withholding of metamucil, our on-the-street, undercover, eyewitness reporter, Mitch, has persuaded venerable radio personality Paul Harvey to come clean. He's been living a lie.

"Fine," Harvey said, "it's not the rest of the story. It's just the story. Can I have my heart medicine back, now?"

At the risk of devastating thousands of homebound AARP members, T/P News is exclusively shedding the light of truth on this obvious piece of minutiae. Despite the claim made in his trademarked catch phrase, "And that's the rest of the storyâ„¢," all these years Paul Harvey has just been reading the news wires and hasn't been expanding any more on the stories you've been getting from other sources like newspapers, the evening news, or your gossip neighbor Edna Kravitz.

Page two.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love that photo. Harvey looks like some sort of (gay) wooden marionette. And W looks retarded as ever trying to figure out the clasp on that lovely necklace. What kind of award is he getting anyway. The last living person who personally knew Liberace prize? When did medals get so fey? This is America, not France.

1:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love that photo. Harvey looks like some sort of (gay) wooden marionette. And W looks retarded as ever trying to figure out the clasp on that lovely necklace. What kind of award is he getting anyway. The last living person who personally knew Liberace prize? When did medals get so fey? This is America, not France.

1:44 PM  

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