Friday, February 23, 2007

Political Winds A-blowin', Turner Changes Shirt

With the recent Democratic upheaval in the federal government and President Bush's approval ratings sliding further into the abyss, Turner announced his decision to graduate from the Greg Brady School of Style (magna cum laude) and change the shirt he wears everyday to work at Turner/Phelps Omnimedia.

Known for his eclectic and who-cares-what-they-think-as-long-as-it's-clean fashion sense, Turner stated that his depeche mode, "is indicative of the new hope I see in America and the rest of the world. Tony Blair is pulling troops out of Iraq, the price of crude oil is dropping despite wars in the Middle East, and for the first time a man of color and a woman are both running for president of these United States at the same time. That says a lot about how far we've come from the dark days of 2004, five and six. So I'm changing the shirt that said, 'I wish we lived in the harmonious time of Greg Brady,' to a shirt that says, 'those times are here.' And I'm glad to do it." He went on to say that the transition in attire will occur immediately.

The new shirt, a sensible rust colored short-sleeve with subtle plaid pattern, oft times referred to as a "Wally Cleaver," will be worn Mondays through Thursdays. Turner continues to reserve Fridays for his dark burgundy, Russell Crowe, fightin' round the world, dock-worker wannabe, wool turtleneck sweater. "Because that says," Turner elucidated, "that Aussies and Kiwis are sexy bad boys who kick ass."

* For the record, although Turner's ethnic origin is uncertain, we do know that he is neither Australian nor from New Zealand. Some speculate that he is either Black Irish, Barcelonan, or Greek.


Blogger Matt said...

Thank you. Most people believe I'm color blind, but it's really just a statement in support of you, the proletariat.

5:16 PM  

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