Thursday, March 22, 2007

Memo for Team Ru-Giu

Note: My new name for Rudy Giuliani is Ru-Giu. I'm using that name because Ru-Giu has been photographed in drag more times than Ru-Paul.

Memo to Team Giuliani

RE: Talking points when faced with questions regarding Ru-Giu’s pro-gay, swinging lifestyle

Question: Isn’t it hypocritical for the same Republicans who vilified Bill Clinton for extramarital relations to vote for a swinger like Ru-Giu who is on his third wife? Isn’t Clinton still married to his, um, first wife? Isn’t Ru-Giu everything we hated about Clinton and worse? Isn’t he a self-serving, power hungry lawyer to boot?

Answer: Family values aren’t about staying married to one woman for your entire life. They aren’t about having children who still actually talk to you. They’re about lowering taxes for the rich. Multiple marriages never hurt the Gabor sisters.

Question: I’m uncomfortable with Ru-Giu’s pro-gay, pro-choice agenda. He sounds further left than Hillary Clinton.

Answer: Look, if Hillary Clinton were a male Republican and she didn’t change her views on a single issue, she would’ve already been President. Think of Ru-Giu as the male Republican Hillary Clinton, who looks even better in Max Factor.

Question: Ru-Giu is a pro-gay, swinging womanizer. His own kids won’t talk to him. And that’s the stuff we already know. What other skeletons are in his closet?

Answer: He was a draft-dodger, has mafia ties and his law firm represented Citgo, the Venezuela-controlled gas company.


Blogger Phelps said...

Hugo says, "Ru-Giu es muy bueno. Hillary es el diabla." Oh, and what about the NY Firemen hating Giuliani, especially since 9/11? They say he really screwed them.

Ru-Giu, don't screw the first responders! Voters don't like that.

7:45 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Site Meter