Top 10 Saint Valentine's Day Dates

Sup bros. Mitch here with some killer fine dates for your special xx-chromosome. Or y-chromosome if you rock the other side of the swing or you like it brokeback.

10. Chuck to the cheese. You know. For those "special" ladies.
9. Detox. It's really time you had a real conversation with courtney.
8. Brokeback mountain. Well, you haven't seen anybody else around have you?
7. Walmart. If you can climb the fence to the top of the bouncy ball corral, no one can see you and your sweety make out.
6. Canada. With the exchange rate, you'll be wining and dining like a cheap bastid.
5. The proposal restaurant. Just make sure you don't actually intend on paying for the bill, it's f$@%ing expensive son!
4. Senior Citizen's Home. Not only can you bling bling off a resold viagra scrip but if the date don't work out, you get some easy ease... that's right, 70 is the new 50.
3. History Museum. It's like going shopping with the lady, only it's free and you can make out in the requisite tour video theater to the tune of james earl jones.
2. Iran. Go nuclear bro. You're bound to break some atomic love barrier... for real. (Editor's Note: Mitch is under investigation from the Nuclear Watchdog Committee now)
1. The heart. Somebody suggested this is the true place to spend the other V-Day. All I know is, angioplasy can clear the plaque, but no doctor can clear the love I feel for my baby.