Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Eat the baby Jesus!

No one wants to eat the baby Jesus. It's true.

This Christmas a co-worker gave me a wonderful chocolate nativity scene, complete with dark chocolate manger and white chocolate Joseph, Mary, swaddled infant Lord, and beatific onlooker lamb.

Whenever we have Christian guests over I always offer them the baby Jesus, but no one bites. I don't know why, since they eat his flesh every Sunday with some wine. Why not as a snack on a Friday night? Call it superstition or a sense of the inappropriate, but I can't either. I admit it. I can't even make myself eat the virgin Mary. I suppose I could eat the lamb or take a bite out of the manger, but that would ruin the aesthetic balance of the diorama.

Some people have suggested applying the Rules of Lent to the chocolate nativity, swearing off the divine candy early, then celebrating the resurrection by gobbling up the baby Jesus on Easter Sunday. I just might do it. If anything, maybe only Joseph will lose his head between now and then. And I might have some lamb, as well.

Chocolate Nativity - Photo by Phelps, Jan. 23, 2006


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I cannot believe that someone would post such a vile, distasteful article. How can you make fun of the baby Jesus? And how can you condone eating him (or Mary... can you even say that??) at Easter - teh holiest of holy days. After stumbling across your article I took a look at the rest of your so called blog. I have one word for you - SODOMITE! Whoever this Turner Phelps fellow is, you're probably some low life without a job, who's living off the welfare and taking advantage of Uncle Sam. I love this country of mine - the good old US of A - and I'll be d@%&*d is some low life, communist, gay boy will be running it down with your leftist liberal propoganda. If I knew who your were, Mr Turner Phelps, I'd come over to your house and make your butt so RED you wouldn't be able to sit down for a week! Don't mess with me, don't mess with God loving, republican voting, upstanding citizens of the almighty USA. God Bless America!

8:42 PM  

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