Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Abramoff Cops a Deal, Tastes Sweet Nectar of Finger Pointing

Dirty Republicans and unscrupulous Democrats alike are about to feel the lethal sting of a corrupt lobbyist scorned.

Today's guilty plea by Jack Abramoff will reverberate throughout the beltway, as his bargain with the justice department is sure to expose the rancid underbelly of the rotting corpse that is our legislative system. The Whitehouse and Republicans are already backpedalling as fast as they can by giving back election donations from Abramoff, just to keep from falling off the precipice of association.

In entertainment news, Mr. Abramoff is being courted by the major networks to host his own show (when he gets released from prison, a-la Martha Sewart). The new show will be a reworking of the classic Monty Hall landmark, Let's Make a Deal. It will be called Let's Fake a Deal, and the premise will be for the studio audience, dressed as either cruiseline executives, Native Americans, or greedy politicians, to either accept or reject seemingly-outrageous offers by host Abramoff.

Will they win the favors and votes of their district's senator, or end up with the goat Jay's holding behind door number three?

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