FEMA jumps on "Recall Bandwagon"

This week, Cold Stone Creamery is recalling its ice cream products containing cake batter following reports of people becoming ill in four states, and Roth Kase USA recalled all Spreadables brand Lobster Bisque and Crab Creole cheese spreads, which contain egg protein, wheat and fish not listed on the label.
Seeing this as a great way to get a good thing back, the Federal Emergency Management Agency has asked thousands of Floridians whose homes were damaged by last summer's hurricanes to give back more than $27 million.
"The money is potentially tainted," an unidentified spokesman for FEMA said, "so we need to get it out of the hands of people who might use it for something useful and constructive, like rebuilding their houses, and reallocate it. We need to use it for something useless and destructive, like fueling a hysterical propaganda against another Middle Eastern country, or promoting New York City as a great place for an international sporting event."