Bush: GM Layoffs bin Laden's Fault

GM tried to scramble out of the junk yard this week by announcing a plan to let 26,000 employees go. Some would call it, "right-sizing." Some would call it "priming the pump for Kerkorian." Meanwhile, the finger-on-the-pulse of what's really going on White House calls it, "a devious plot by our enemy to tear at the very fiber of what makes this country great."

At a fund raiser pancake breakfast in Michatoga, MN, hosted by the Free American Republican Turnip Industry Entrepreneurs, Sec of State Condie Rice read from her daily White House briefing memo, "The latest troubling news should be viewed as more reason than ever to fight the forces of evil, stand up for the American way, and invest more in our battle against those who would take our way of life away from us." This was in response to the chairman of FARTIE commenting that they were almost out of syrup.

When asked if she would like some more orange juice, the Secretary reviewed her memo and vehemently asserted, "There is no cause greater in our endeavors than to stay the course."

The only time during the breakfast that Dr. Rice strayed from her briefing notes was when asked if she liked the sausage. To which she responded, "yes. Yes I do. Unlike Hilary Clinton."