Tuesday, July 06, 2004

John Kerry picks John Edward

AP Story: At a rally in Pittsburgh on Tuesday, Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry selected former rival John Edward.

Edward accepted Kerry's selection, saying, "Kerry's dead father told me last night I'd be getting a phonecall from his son. He kept showing me a telephone, the letters VP and a blow dryer."

When asked why he chose a celebrity psychic as his running mate, Kerry said, "Who better to dig up dirt on The Bushies than somebody who is intimately linked to the Other Side?"

The Republican camp was nonplussed by the announcement. A source from the VP's office stated anonymously, "Since Dick Cheney is the Dark Lord of Hades, and thus holds sway over all warlocks, witches, diviners, and mimes, Senator Kerry's choice actually plays into our talon - er - hand."


Blogger Mitch said...

Bummer he didn't pick hillary. Watching her snap her exoskeleton in the direction of john kerry's upper torso, while simultaneously crushing his head with her massive caliper laced praing mantis jaws would have been a very surprising sight.

Why just the other day I saw hillary bite the head off of AHHHH, NOOO, NOOOO.....


6:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When I watch John Edward on "Crossing Over" I often think to myself, "That man would make a great vice president. I wouldn't want him to be President, because he's a complete lunatic, but he would make a nice vice president... kind of like Dan Quayle."

8:29 AM  

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