Thursday, July 01, 2004

Thunder on the Highway

A phonecall last night went like this:
Thom: Hello?
The God of Thunder: Listen-up, you tree-hugging, homeless-feeding, gunless, Godless, murderer-sparing, commie, Marxist, left-leaning, tofu-eating, meditating, yoga-stretching, screen-writing liberal. I just drove from Texas to Colorado, crossed three state lines, and didn't have to stop once. Do you know how I did that?
Thom: Ummm... adult diapers? Some kind of stool-stiffener maybe?
TGoT: No! I didn't have to stop once in over 1200 miles because we live in a FREE COUNTRY. I didn't have to show my "papers" and didn't have to bribe any corrupt border guards. And do you know why it's a free country?
Thom: Ummm... the constitution written by our founding fathers?
TGoT: NO! It's because George Bush and Ronald Reagan made it free. They brought down the Soviet empire, they kept the wolves of Communism at bay, and they are keeping our interstate highways free of terrorists!
Thom: Ummm... Reagan's dead. Are you on any psychotropic drugs?
TGoT: Of course I am. How do you think I drove 1200 miles without stopping? I've still got 800 more miles to go.
Thom: Okay, Rush, you have a safe drive.


Blogger God of History said...

TGoT is back from my road experience. 7046 miles on my gas guzzeling Pick Up Truck in only three weeks. Not bad considering I found time to use my lifetime fishing liscense, carry my concealed firearms in 17 different states (note: the Second Ammendment some how hasn't been applied to all the states by the Supreme Court, that's why I can only carry in 17 states), visit the nation's capital, get horribly sick on sushi in Colorado, watch an off Broadway version of "Annie get your gun" in W.VA., and make a pilgrimage to the Eisenhower shrine in Kansas (where I appropriatly bowed and prayed, lighting candles for all you liberals). You will hear more from me as I settle into a routine of checking e-mail, paying bills, and scoping out the "Pool Bunnies."

12:10 PM  

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