Wednesday, June 30, 2004

George W. Bush's Ten Commandments Score

While right-wing wackos continue to attack the Constitution by insisting on placing the Ten Commandments in public places, you have to wonder if George W. has even read Exodus 20. Here's how he scores on the Ten Commandments:

1. "You shall have no other gods before Me." Like, uh, greed. Goose egg, Shrub. (0\1)

2. "You shall not make to yourselves any graven image..." Like, say, demanding public plaques of the Ten Commandments, insistence on prayer in front of an American flag or putting Reagan on a coin. Zero. (0\2)

3. "You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain." As in, "God has a plan for my presidency." Love-40. And it’s creepy. (0\3)

4. "Six days you shall labor and do all your work. But the seventh day is the Sabbath of the LORD your God." Has W even worked six days in his entire life? Nada. (0\4)

5. "Honor your father and your mother." It's interesting that when asked by Bob Woodward if he consulted his daddy George Sr. in any matters, W said no, he consulted a "higher father." And when asked who his presidential role model was, he dissed his papa by choosing Reagan, who is not only dead, he really was totally mediocre as well. Still a big bagel. (0\5)

6. "You shall not kill." Do I even need to explain this one? Will it be a shut out?(0\6)

7. "You shall not commit adultery." Score one for the other side because breaking this commandment would require mature and functioning genitalia. One point. (1/7)

8. "You shall not steal." As in, "You shall not steal the Presidency from the American people who didn't actually vote for you." Jack squat. (1/8)

9. "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor." Show me the WMDs and an Iraq-Quaida connection and I'll add a point -- until then, zilcho. (1\9)

10. "You shall not covet your neighbor's house... neighbor's wife... his ox, nor his ass, nor his oil fields..." Zippo. (1\10)


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