Friday, June 18, 2004

Andy "Cybill" Dick pleads not guilty - Blames Alter Ego

Comic actor Andy Dick pleaded not guilty to a misdemeanor marijuana possession charge by reason of insanity. He blames his actions on one of his many "troubled teenage girl" split personalities.

"It was Hooka," Dick explained to the judge, "she's always trying to get high when I'm at a concert."

Through regression therapy hypnosis by a reputable Beverly Hills psychiatrist, it appears that Dick has four distinct alter egos:
Hooka - 16-year old runaway girl who "likes the ganja."

Myanmar - 14-year old Asian prostitute who specializes in picking up travelling salesmen in bars and rolling them (beating them up and stealing their money) in back alleys. Dick described Myanmar as "liking it between dumpsters."

Sophia - An upperclass prep school girl who is bored with her high society parents and likes to slip away on weekends to seedy bars.

Mabel - An eighty-four year old Jewish Floridian with Alzheimers, who thinks she is a seventeen-year-old African American girl from the streets of New Orleans, named Shaniqua.


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