Thursday, September 09, 2004

The Passion of the Bush

With curtains drawn and lights turned low, George conducts a pow-wow in the Oval office.
George Bush: OK, what's the plan?
Scott McClellan: Let's blame Kerry!
George: Blame Kerry for me disobeying a direct order thirty years ago?
Scott: No, for making a big deal out of this.
Dick Cheney: Afterall, you weren't going to be flying in Alabama, so you had every right to ignore your commander.
Scott: Yeah! Lots of active duty soldiers disobeyed direct orders.
George: But didn't they get court-martialled?
Dick: Occasionally, but these were extenuating circumstances.
Scott: We can say Kerry and his cronies are drumming up forgotten history. And we can say the liberal media is playing into their hands.
George: For reporting the facts?
Scott: No, for intentionally embarrassing the President of the United States and the office for which he stands.
John Ashcroft: I think we have a clause in the Patriot Act for that. We slipped it in for just such a contingency as this. We called it the Watergate Shield.
Dan Bartlett: I've got an idea.
George: Better than blaming Kerry?
Dan: Kind of. How about if we say this is "dirty politics" by the Democrats?
Dick: Good idea.
Scott: Genius!
John: Dan, I want to have your baby.
George: What if they bring up the dirty politics like this that we pulled on McCain in 2000?
Scott: We'll say they're drumming up forgotten history.
George: Hmmmm... Condi? What do you think?
Condi Rice: Don't ask me, I'm outta here as soon as the election is over. I've got a teaching gig with guaranteed tenure already lined up at Howard.
George: Damn! Um, Dad? What do you think?
George Senior: Don't ask me, I'm just here to read my daily CIA briefings for the boys in Riyadh.
George: Okay, I guess we go with the dirty politics and blaming Kerry.
Dick: Good idea.
Scott: Genius!
John: Mr. President, I want to have your baby.


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