Sunday, August 19, 2007

Putin: U.S. Wants to Dominate World

U.S.: Well, Duh.

The White House responded to President Vladimir Putin's assertion that the United States intends to rule the world as a single "unipolar" super power by sighing heavily and saying, "shuh-huh. WhatEvurr."

Shawna Fondelstein of Martha's Vinyard, the twentythree year-old emo staff intern recently assigned to fill Karl Rove's place as chief strategic architect in the Bush administration added, "besides, by Putin's logic, if there were two super powers then it would be bipolar. And we all know that's bad. And if there were three super powers, it would a super menage a trois and that's just icky."

"Unless," she added, "it's me and two really hot guys who aren't gay and are really into me. Maybe a really hot guy and a really hot girl, but only if they were both really into me, and didn't spend a lot of time focused on each other."

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