Tuesday, May 03, 2005

5 people you will never meet

Adolf - a black jewish crippled man
Likes to hang around affluent neighborhoods demanding 'reparations' from passerbys. Targets drivers of Audi and Volkswagon.

Bruce - a southern baptist texan who tolerates gay people
Believes that his '86 Ford F-150 should be used for holding his gun rack and towing dead pigs with a chain from his trailer hitch, not for dragging gay people down country roads, because that's wrong.

Charlene - a pro-lifer who thinks rape victims can get abortions
Usually seen skiing on the slopes of hell, which has recently frozen over.

Doug - a public servant committed to serving the public
Not to be confused with other government officials who are batpoop crazy and make taxpayers lives a living hell.

Eloise - a 90-year old who rides a bike instead of a car
Believing that it is too dangerous for her to drive a car because of her senility and her inclination to run people over in farmer's markets, Eloise rides a bicycle in her day-to-day affairs, only rarely clipping hikers on jogging trails.


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