Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Open Mouth, Jimmy, Insert Foot

Once again, the baudy evangelical Jimmy Swaggart (who claims to be Christian) speaks without caring who's listening.

BATON ROUGE, La. (AP) - Evangelist Jimmy Swaggart apologized Wednesday for saying in a televised worship service that he would kill any gay man who looked at him romantically.

On the other hand of course, if a twenty-something prostitute were to look at him romantically, he would entertain her with his own brand of Southern hospitality. And if she were to invite her daughter into the room to watch, he'd pay twice as much.

To be fair, Jimmy was just joking about "killing any gay man who looked at him romantically." Let's not forget that he's from the bayou where there is very little romance, what with all the humidity and mosquitos. I'm sure he would have said that if a man looked at him platonically, but asked for plain businesslike sex, Jimmy would have obliged wholeheartedly, especially if it involved masturbating while others watched (that's his particular turn-on).
Listen to him beg for forgiveness: History Channel


Blogger Mitch said...

Jimmy is in the wrong business. Some producer should put a camera in that man's hand and make him an essential element of the new Christian Porn Network. No homosexuality whatsoever, except of course, lesbianism, because after all, those nuns aren't telling us the whole truth are they???

I am going to hell. And it's fresh powder untracked with all my friends in hell, so it can't be all that bad now, eh?

BTW, I have plans to trademark, copyright, and purchase the domain names for, and don't have fear luddites, because this will be nationwide on CBS, under the guise of "See authentic footage of bush in service". I'll make millions. Who wants to invest???

7:14 PM  
Blogger Phelps said...

Oh, Mitch, always looking for a way to make money with porn, aren't you?
Don't you realize that America is a country of family values, high moral standing, and puritanical ethics?
Pornography would NEVER make money in America, especially not on the Internet.
Listen to our illustrious President and Vice President: there is no place in our society or in our economy for pornography. Go to church, Mitch, and become a good American.

9:54 AM  

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