A Watchful Eye on a French Girl

The Bush Administration and the office of Parks and Wildlife announced this week that it was keeping a particularly watchful eye on a French girl in New York City who has been a long time resident of the metropolis.

"Lady Liberty" as she is affectionately known by locals, spends her days on Ellis island looking eastward and espousing decidedly Liberal political viewpoints with her placard that reads:

"Give me your tired, your poor,
your huddled masses yearning
to breathe free"

One park ranger, with security dog on a leash, eyed Miss Liberty warily and said, "I'm not too sure about her. First off, she's French. Second, she's always lookin' east. Don't know if that means she's staring at Mecca, or what. Plus, she's holding a torch and in our business with the parks, we just don't trust folks with open flames. Unless, of course, it's the god-fearing pro-American Olympic flame."

Security has been much tighter around the French girl since the attacks of 9/11, but this week the government is allowing tourists back on the island to visit her. An anonymous spokesman for the Vice President's office stated, "She's tall and French and liberal. And that's all we need to be suspicious of her motives."