Thursday, August 05, 2004

A Watchful Eye on a French Girl

The Bush Administration and the office of Parks and Wildlife announced this week that it was keeping a particularly watchful eye on a French girl in New York City who has been a long time resident of the metropolis.

"Lady Liberty" as she is affectionately known by locals, spends her days on Ellis island looking eastward and espousing decidedly Liberal political viewpoints with her placard that reads:

"Give me your tired, your poor,
your huddled masses yearning
to breathe free"

One park ranger, with security dog on a leash, eyed Miss Liberty warily and said, "I'm not too sure about her. First off, she's French. Second, she's always lookin' east. Don't know if that means she's staring at Mecca, or what. Plus, she's holding a torch and in our business with the parks, we just don't trust folks with open flames. Unless, of course, it's the god-fearing pro-American Olympic flame."

Security has been much tighter around the French girl since the attacks of 9/11, but this week the government is allowing tourists back on the island to visit her. An anonymous spokesman for the Vice President's office stated, "She's tall and French and liberal. And that's all we need to be suspicious of her motives."


Blogger Mitch said...

Dude, dude. So seriously, if you look at that "french girl" long enough, you see a bare breast. John Ashcroft, do you hear me, a bare brest! Let's get some scaffolding and some drapery, and protect the public from that indecent display of boobage.

Personally, I think John covered up the other statue, Lady Justice, because he doesn't want the public seeing him making love to that "stone cold t!tty" from the words of David Cross.

Also, when did they discover botox? Cuz that french girl on the island has this stoney complexion that even John Kerry couldn't touch. Woah... John Kerry does look a lot like the french girl. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

11:35 PM  

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