Saturday, July 31, 2004

Tyson: Chicken. Not Poultry

The debt-addled, half-face-tattooed, convicted rapist boxer who we once knew as "Iron" and now think of as "aluminum foil" has fallen and doesn't look like he's getting up. With $38 million in debt, 38 years old, no prospects, no plans, and no catchy fashionable cookery appliance spokesmanship contracts in the foreseeable future, Tyson might as well hang up his boxer's robe and find a job as a bouncer for a trendy nightclub. "No, Mike, you can't come in, you have to keep the homeless guys and crack heads out."

(AP - Tim Dahlberg) Beaten and battered, Tyson laid helplessly along the ropes, blood flowing down his face. The former baddest man on the planet stared ahead with a look of resignation on his face as his latest comeback - and perhaps his tumultuous career - collapsed along with him.
Oh, how the great ones fall hard. Wait -- was he ever "great" or just "scary?"

Either way, he fell like a sack of...


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1:33 PM  

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