Shocking News: KFC is Bad for Chickens

According to the New York Times, PETA is releasing a videotape featuring slaughterhouse employees at a Kentucky Fried Chicken supplier

"...jumping up and down on live chickens, drop-kicking them like footballs and slamming them into walls, apparently for fun."

What could be more fun than being drenched in the sensual smell of splattered chicken guts? An anonymous undercover investigator said:

"...he saw 'hundreds' of acts of cruelty, including workers tearing beaks off, ripping a bird's head off to write graffiti in blood, spitting tobacco juice into birds' mouths, plucking feathers to 'make it snow,' suffocating a chicken by tying a latex glove over its head, and squeezing birds like water balloons to spray feces over other birds.

A feces shower? I thought that was limited to KFC's rarely-cleaned restrooms. But why would workers treat chickens this way? Boredom and long, lonely nights, of course.

"He said the behavior was 'to alleviate boredom or vent frustrations,' especially when so many birds were coming in that they would have to work late."

But isn't the loud music of today's MTV youth culture really to blame?

"The tape includes loud music the workers listen to, the screeching of the birds and the sound of each hitting the wall."

The Great Gonzo was not available for comment.



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