Krispy Kreme Goes on the Atkins Diet

Reuters reports that Krispy Kreme is cutting back its ubiquitous stores in an effort to curb it’s bloatatiousness. Which means I will be the only one on my block without a Krispy Kreme store in my basement. Citing public frenzy for low-carb diets, the doughnut-monger reported it’s first quarterly net loss since it went public. This begs several questions. What kind of diet plan were all these doughnut-wolfers on prior to Atkins where deep fried dough covered in gooey sugar syrup was perfectly acceptable? And, why are doughnuts out but steaming big platters of boiled pork bellies are in? Thank you Dr. Atkins, you were truly a responsible public servant.

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